My "Friend," Alcohol

My "Friend," Alcohol

HEY FRIEND!
you brought me into the spotlight
gave me a great time that one night
thanks for bringing me that one guy
you helped me not be so shy
Friend,
I probably did some things I shouldn’t have
Don’t worry, I wasn’t mad
at the time
How could I have been
when you brought out a new version of me?

oh but…
hey friend,
I don’t feel too hot
I don’t know if I’m sick or if I’m not
its not my stomach or my head
it’s my heart that hurts instead
friend,
I think you poisoned me
took away what was best in me
poisoned me: body and mind
these actions, they are not mine

Alcohol,
you made me
into someone I never meant to be

I watched what you did to my family
they weren’t themselves, benevolently
there for me…
you knew what you were doin
looking to ruin
and looting everything precious.

a contradiction
I think I want you… my body wants you
I have a conscious, who knew?
wait, its not a conscious, it’s a spirit
specifically the holy spirit
enveloping me
developing me
saying ‘whoa this isn’t right
don’t do that tonight.’
trying so hard to keep me accountable
when my sins become uncountable
but to God, they’re surmountable
He helps me overcome them

Alcohol,
my “friends” who like you
don’t know why I doubt you
“you’re not fun anymore”
was I really fun galore before?
When you, alcohol, were involved
no problems got solved,
you’d aggravate and agitate.
This is ridiculous,
I need a wake up call
I can’t believe I’ve allowed myself to fall
into the clutches of something that touches
on everything I hate
God, just wipe away my pride
be the one thing that keeps me alive
fulfilling me from the inside
out.

God, you rescued the Israelites in exodus
come back for the rest of us
get me out of here, to the promise land
c'mon just give me a hand
a swift back hand from you, a slap in my face
would surely put me back in my place
why do those slaps, those rude awakenings
carry the sweetest of stings
although it seems like too much sometimes to handle
its better than me stumbling around carrying a handle
hey girl, lets party
we gonn go hardy and party like its ya birthday
the occasion? how about earth day?
looking for any excuse to drink
even if it means being pushed to the brink

the way that I'm being
is that appealing
to the king?
I'm thinking of the material
taking control over my life, managerial
when I should be selflessly serving the imperial
KING

If I’m not speaking with enough diction
I hope it doesn't affect your conviction
these things they bring restriction
I can't allow these addictions
to be the reason for a heavenly eviction
My heart and my body are a contradiction
my body acts with unabashed dereliction
but my heart, I can only think about Christ's crucifixion

He hung on that cross
with me in mind
knowing that I wouldn’t be blind
when flashing lights had me warned
against things that would have me harmed.
So that I could be satisfied,
he gave up his life
so I wouldn’t be denied
Like the woman at the well
you don’t hesitate to show me where I’m wrong
where only you can make me strong
showing me that I just need you all along
1 Corinthians 10:1 says I can bear it
that temptations cannot inhibit

Next time they say I’m ‘thirsty’
I will be
for living water

Beautiful Reflection

Beautiful Reflection

Like medusa I look in the mirror
I look, peer out of fear
what if I’m not pretty
enough?
Am I skinny
enough?
Are my eyes too big?
Hair isn’t straight…
what about my height?
I know I’m tall
my body isn’t right

Man, I could stare at that mirror
medusa would turn me into stone
for hours I could sit alone
staring and tearing
myself apart

Hair clothes knees and toes knees and toes…
these are things I should change
according to the media
there’s a certain set of criteria
a “pretty girl” should meet
often portrayed as a piece of meat
open up a magazine
turn on the TV
subtle pressures there
you would not believe
Well, Hollywood- I’m no size two
Can’t even fit into a size 6 shoe
according to you,
am I ugly?
according to you,
I must not be pretty
enough.

See you judge me
your pressures, they bludgeon me

the one who is imperial
He spoke me into life
and it was lyrical
with sweet breath
he made me in His image
hand painted this visage

the only time He’ll judge
at the foot of His throne
is on the day He’ll say he loves me,
Good and faithful one

I’m not going to stop caring
about what I’m wearing
Fine to be a fashion-ista
as long as it doesn’t beat ya
It becomes a problem when
that takes first place
when you try and photoshop
your face, your waist

God made you something
beautiful, each one not the ‘usual’
so why are we trying to fit
into a mold that’s labeled typical

You daughter of Zion,
of Jerusalem,
Jesus spoke to the lot of them
The son of the one
who dances in joy over you
takes delight in you says,
“You will have troubles in this world,
but take heart, I have overcome the world”
So who are you who should
pick apart the beauty of this world
which is
you
You beautiful creature,
who God created fearfully
yet you fearfully look into a mirror
while seeing the image of Him
Heed the images in that mirror
see past the things that make you fear

Take the boldness of Ruth
and wipe away the wrongful truth

Take the confidence of Ester
stop worrying about the things in the mirror that pester

Take the conviction of Rebekah
angels will sing of your beauty, a-capella

Take the devotion of Hannah
don’t doubt you’re as precious as the heaven sent manna

Use these monumental abilities
to embrace your unique qualities
see past what earthly men may judge
and seek the love of the Highest Judge.

So you, you there looking back at me in the mirror
You beloved jewel on the crown of the King
take what I say and hear
that God loves you beyond all years
Your beauty is not just on the outside
but infused from the inside
See your beautiful reflection
that mirrors not your faults,
but God’s eternal affection.