My "Friend," Alcohol

My "Friend," Alcohol

HEY FRIEND!
you brought me into the spotlight
gave me a great time that one night
thanks for bringing me that one guy
you helped me not be so shy
Friend,
I probably did some things I shouldn’t have
Don’t worry, I wasn’t mad
at the time
How could I have been
when you brought out a new version of me?

oh but…
hey friend,
I don’t feel too hot
I don’t know if I’m sick or if I’m not
its not my stomach or my head
it’s my heart that hurts instead
friend,
I think you poisoned me
took away what was best in me
poisoned me: body and mind
these actions, they are not mine

Alcohol,
you made me
into someone I never meant to be

I watched what you did to my family
they weren’t themselves, benevolently
there for me…
you knew what you were doin
looking to ruin
and looting everything precious.

a contradiction
I think I want you… my body wants you
I have a conscious, who knew?
wait, its not a conscious, it’s a spirit
specifically the holy spirit
enveloping me
developing me
saying ‘whoa this isn’t right
don’t do that tonight.’
trying so hard to keep me accountable
when my sins become uncountable
but to God, they’re surmountable
He helps me overcome them

Alcohol,
my “friends” who like you
don’t know why I doubt you
“you’re not fun anymore”
was I really fun galore before?
When you, alcohol, were involved
no problems got solved,
you’d aggravate and agitate.
This is ridiculous,
I need a wake up call
I can’t believe I’ve allowed myself to fall
into the clutches of something that touches
on everything I hate
God, just wipe away my pride
be the one thing that keeps me alive
fulfilling me from the inside
out.

God, you rescued the Israelites in exodus
come back for the rest of us
get me out of here, to the promise land
c'mon just give me a hand
a swift back hand from you, a slap in my face
would surely put me back in my place
why do those slaps, those rude awakenings
carry the sweetest of stings
although it seems like too much sometimes to handle
its better than me stumbling around carrying a handle
hey girl, lets party
we gonn go hardy and party like its ya birthday
the occasion? how about earth day?
looking for any excuse to drink
even if it means being pushed to the brink

the way that I'm being
is that appealing
to the king?
I'm thinking of the material
taking control over my life, managerial
when I should be selflessly serving the imperial
KING

If I’m not speaking with enough diction
I hope it doesn't affect your conviction
these things they bring restriction
I can't allow these addictions
to be the reason for a heavenly eviction
My heart and my body are a contradiction
my body acts with unabashed dereliction
but my heart, I can only think about Christ's crucifixion

He hung on that cross
with me in mind
knowing that I wouldn’t be blind
when flashing lights had me warned
against things that would have me harmed.
So that I could be satisfied,
he gave up his life
so I wouldn’t be denied
Like the woman at the well
you don’t hesitate to show me where I’m wrong
where only you can make me strong
showing me that I just need you all along
1 Corinthians 10:1 says I can bear it
that temptations cannot inhibit

Next time they say I’m ‘thirsty’
I will be
for living water